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Hilarious Lidl story goes viral but people can’t work out if it’s a joke

A weekly shop gone wrong…

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One person’s tale of their lockdown visit to Lidl has swept social media and people are equally confused and amused. 

The tale involves one man, a weekly shop and some rope. What transpires is a beautiful story of teamwork between a bunch of Lidl-goers. 

I don’t want to rope you along or waste your time, but you’re knot going to believe this. No, you literally won’t, it’s obviously a joke.

Here’s the story in full, enjoy… 

“A warning to all: avoid using Lidl in Dewsbury at the moment if you can.

I’ve just got back from a truly awful shopping trip there.

Having queued up, patiently and socially distancing, as I neared the entrance a shop worker clipped a carabena onto the belt loop of my jeans, my perplexed expression must have said it all as she explained that whilst people are distancing in the queue outside, they aren’t distancing once inside the store.

Credit: Psicopatria

So what some dinlo has dreamt up is to rope six or so customers together with 2m of rope between each of us!

WTAF?!

Well these are strange times and with the threat of a second wave of infection I thought I’d best not complain and just toe the line (or perhaps ‘tow’ the line would be more appropriate!).

I’m telling you now, what an absolutely idiotic idea this is.

We negotiated our way in to the store, some with trolleys and others trying to grab a basket before the berserk conga line drags them away

Credit: Roger Cornfoot

I was near the middle of the rope picking up some veg, the woman at the front, who was trussed up like a kid in a harness was trying to drag the whole line to the apples and the bloke at the back trying to pull the other way to get his hands on last week’s courgettes which were now this week’s courgette offer.

It was like tug-of-war for the deranged.

It’s embarrassing to say, but I lost it, started ranting and raving about the rope and how the hell are people meant to shop like this, I went to unclip the carabena which miraculously brought the attention of the staff who told me I’d be asked to leave the shop if I unclipped.

“FFS we’re not rock climbing, we’re trying to buy cheese” are words which I’ll carry with me to my grave.

Credit: DennisM2 / Flickr

Strangely this outburst had the effect of bringing our train together as a team.

We carried on now with lots of communication, people passing stuff along the line to other to fill their baskets.

Now I know passing things to one another could spread the infection as much as person to person contact but I honestly think if we hadn’t have done, I’d still be there now.

As we started along the aisle I generally refer to as “biscuits and creosote”, it was clear from the melée that all was not well in the adjacent aisle.

As far as I could tell there had been 2 trains of people and a lady in the middle of one chain had ducked under the other to get her hands on a pop-art cat bed.

Credit: Albert Bridge / Flickr

The tangle had resulted in a multi-pedestrian pile up in which the epicentre resembled the deity Durga, it wasn’t clear how long they’d been there but one old chap was trying to free himself by feverishly sawing at the rope with his house keys.

We navigated the remaining aisles without major trauma, other than having to rescue Doreen (2nd in line) after she fell in the chest freezer trying to reach the last beef Wellington.

We were individually unclipped prior to the till, at which point any camaraderie we’d had quickly evaporated as everyone scrambled for the first available till.

With the ordeal still impeding rational thought, it was a welcome and familiar sight to have the check out throw all my shopping on the floor in the normal 1000mph fashion.

I really did not appreciate being strung along like that, but I hope you were!

And if you really want to be entertained, wait for the comments from those who don’t read the whole thing.” 

—-

Well there you go. I’m not sure how some people don’t realise it’s a joke to be honest…

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Greggs worker fired after exposing the ‘mountains of food that gets wasted every day’

The worker filmed several bin bags of food being thrown away at the end of her shift

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Lord.nicc / TikTok

A Greggs worker was fired after she exposed the ‘mountain’ of food the bakery chain allegedly wastes on a daily basis. 

Nicole Iwalowo had been working in a Romford branch in London for a month when she became aware of the massive amount of food going to waste at the end of each day.

Feeling guilty at seeing food go in the bin every day, Nicole decided to expose the bakery by filming the leftover produce, which included freshly made sandwiches and sealed packages of bakery goods like doughnuts and yum yums, and posting it onto TikTok.

Her video, shared back in November, shows six bin bags full of food being loaded up on a metal cage, which Nicole claims was later collected by bin men.

@greggs_official / Instagram

Nicole pointed out in the video that ‘there’s people starving around the world and all of this is going to waste’, noting that ‘this happens everyday around the world with the billions of food stores’.

Her TikTok post was quick to garner thousands of views and comments, with many slamming Greggs for the blatant hypocrisy surrounding its official policy, which states that it ‘hates food waste’ and that ‘donating unsold food to those in need is our priority’.

Greggs also claims that ‘all unsold food is 100% diverted from landfill’.

One viewer commented: “What’s frustrating is there are actual Apps around now exactly for this, to take end of day food for ppl [sic] in need. Its infuriating and why we should boycott these businesses until they change. Thank you for putting your job on the line to show this.”

@lord.nicc566

Watch me get fired for this 😵‍💫😂 #foryourpage #foodwaste

♬ masquerade x mtr – jovynn

Another person who claims to have also worked for the bakery chain wrote: “I used to work at Greggs too and can back this up. and we aren’t allowed to give it to the homeless either.”

A spokesperson for Greggs has since addressed the video, saying in a statement: “We have a number of initiatives in place to help reduce food waste across our shops including the redistribution of unsold food to community groups and charities.

“We are continually working to increase the amount of unsold food given away to those most in need and remain committed to putting an end to food waste.”

In the days following the posting of the video, Nicole confirmed that she had been fired and was left looking for work in the run up to Christmas.

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Safety alert issued over car seats as parents told to stop using them ‘immediately’

Batches of carseats reportedly have a buckle defect

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Cosatto

A safety alert has been issued over a batch of children’s car seats containing ‘potentially defective’ parts.

Cosatto, a Bolton-born retailer specialising in pushchairs, highchairs and car seats for children, has issued the safety alert for the buckles on its ‘All in All+’ and ‘All in All Rotate’ car seats, of which there are eleven different models.

The notice from Cosatto reads: “We have identified a potential safety concern relating to the buckle used in the production of a small batch of car seats manufactured between September 2019 and June 2020.

“Unfortunately, the manufacture of some of the buckles did not reach the exacting standards set by our quality and safety protocol and contain components that can potentially become defective.

Cosatto

“We are truly sorry that this has happened. We are a values-driven, family business who want to do the right thing and have taken this action to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the children of valued customers like you.”

It has also been revealed that any customer with one of the multi-group car seats (Groups 0+/1/2/3) for children from birth up to 36kg (approximately twelve years old) should stop using them immediately and contact Cosatto.

The company added that only those with batch numbers between 37/2019 and 24/2020 are affected, noting that all other car seats from later batches are safe to use.

Parents have been encouraged to immediately check the batch numbers on their car seats – all of which can be found on a sticker on the right-hand side at the rear.

Cosatto

If their seat is one of the affected, Cosatto is offering a free replacement buckle, which will be dispatched on a next day delivery service.

Here’s the Which? full list of faulty models:

All in All+ car seats

  • Dragon Kingdom (model number CT4262)
  • Unicorn Land (model number CT4238)
  • Harewood (model number CT4239)
  • Mister Fox (model number CT4241)

All in All Rotate car seats

  • Sea Monsters (model number CT4263)
  • Fairy Garden (model number CT4242)
  • Fika Forest (model number CT4243)
  • Hedgerow (model number CT4486)
  • Hear Us Roar (model number CT4418)
  • On The Prowl (model number CT4451)
  • One World (model number CT4449)

You can fill out Cosatto’s online form here to check your model and order a replacement buckle, or alternatively call 08000 149252.

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Snorers can get paid £300 to test ‘anti-snore’ sleep products

We all know someone who’d be perfect for this…

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@silentnightbeds / Instagram

If you’re a serial snorer, this could be your big moment.

For years, we’ve been batting away so-called ‘cures’ for snoring, and have simply been making do with a pair of good quality ear plugs instead.

But with 35% of the adult population being serial snorers, you’d think there would have been a solid solution by now.

Well, the answer may just be on the horizon.

@silentnightbeds / Instagram

UK sleep brand Silentnight is on the hunt for five serious snorers to test their new range of sleep products with a handsome cash reward of £300.

The successful applicants will be given £700 worth of sleep products, all of which claim to prevent snoring in some way or another.

This generous bundle will include a king-size rolled mattress from the award-winning Studio by Silentnight collection, a pair of innovative Anti-Snore pillows designed to encourage improved breathing, and a ‘So Snug’ 13.5 tog winter duvet.

Kat Collins, senior brand manager for Silentnight, said: “As the UK’s most trusted sleep brand, we think it’s important to celebrate all types of sleepers and so are giving back to snorers across the country with an exciting new role this year.

@silentnightbeds / Instagram

“But, this is official business and we’re looking for applicants who take their sleep seriously. As part of our mission to change how people sleep for the better, we know that customers’ feedback on our products is fundamental to our future launches so can’t wait to hear our new ‘employees’ thoughts.”

If you think you’re up to the job, all you’ll need to do is complete the entry form on the Silentnight website and sign up to Silentnight’s newsletter, and follow them on Instagram and Facebook.

If your application is successful, Silentnight will contact you via email, as well as remove and recycle your old mattress, if needed, for free.

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