While we definitely think Greater Manchester is the greatest place on earth, we can’t help but have a laugh at these terrible reviews of areas of our region.
ILiveHere.co.uk is a website specialising in providing terrible and brutally honest reviews of areas across the country, and each year it releases a list of the top ten worst places to live in the UK – here’s the list for 2021, if you’re interested.
We’ve hand-picked some of the best insults the site has dished out to areas across Greater Manchester – take it all with a pinch of salt and remember it’s just a laugh!
In an article titled ‘Mossley, home of ‘Who’s got the most toes competition’ you can imagine what the rest of the review was like.
In a small section that’s without profanities, the review describes the town with a nod to evolution: “Darwin clearly left Mossley out when he wrote origin of species.” Not exactly something you’ll see on a poster board for the town…
The reviews of Saddleworth are all pretty similar in their incredibly derogatory comments.
This one sums it up: “Saddleworthians are easily spotted in a crowd amongst their fellower Oldhamer’s. They’re the ones who have fake accents, no wit and a false sense of superiority. Yes if you like a bit of bullsh*t and self congratulations you’re in for a treat.”
Unfortunately, Rochdale has made the site’s top 10 worst places to live in the entire country list two years running.
Most of the reviews see some pretty catty comments about the inhabitants of Rochdale, with one stating: “Majority of the residents disdain this town. The sole act of living here, and even being associated with Rochdale is a disgrace. Not for trivial, but rather major reasons. In fact, the (not so) respectful residents may just happen to be the contributory factor!
“Possessors of low IQ, users of unknown speech codes, devoted to ‘grime’ and overly fond of drugs, in particular marijuana- are few of the admirable traits and practices common among the youth.”
All I know of this place is to avoid it, and this review seems to agree: “When me mam told me we were moving to Harpurhey in 2002, I was devastated.
“When she showed me the estate we were going to move on to I tried to throw myself under the 52 bus. Unfortunately it never turned up on time, I don’t think it ever has since. Here lies the problems with Harpurhey.”
One of my few experiences of Bolton involves venturing to a nightclub called J2. I got attacked by a girl for looking at her in a takeaway, after being served triangle shapes of buttered toast in J2 a few hours earlier. Great times.
This reviewer really isn’t a fan of the place either: “Superficially at first the greenery, rivers Croal and Irwell seem appealing… unfortunately, soon you have a suspicion that all is not as it appears-in fact the whole place gives the impression of nature reclaiming post-holocaust man-made destruction, the greenery taking from direct sight the utter ruination wrought by hundreds of years of poisoning the land, and utter despoliation of the environment.
“The place has a sort of chemical stink…a miasma…even on the freshest of days.”
Salford has come a long way in recent years so I’m going to guess this review was left a while back, probably by someone from Walkden: “Charles Darwin would have had a field day here, as Salford not merely proves the theory of evolution but actually allows a casual observer to witness the process in reverse.”
This one really paints a picture of the home town of Blossoms, maybe it was left before the Plaza had a revamp: “The average Stopfordian seems to roll out of his bed around eleven, take a 192 – or better still a deathtrap Corsa with a stolen stereo more powerful than it’s engine – down to sign on and then simply hangs around in the town.
“They aren’t even entertaining like the drunks in Manchester they’re just, well… ****!”
I’ve never ventured to Bury so I can’t vouch for how true this one might be: “Bury has its own perfume – Eau de Weed which is particularly noticeable between the Spotted Cow and the Old Crow on Bell Lane.”
Widely recognised as the next victim of gentrification, here’s a cracking and detailed review of the south Manchester suburb: “The local park is full of teenagers who have broken the children’s climbing frames. These teens are usually swearing their heads of pissed off white ace and that’s just on a Monday afternoon.
“The local council then put a murder tape round it for nearly two years. The people who cant escape have taken to impaling themselves just to end it all.”
What you waiting for, get on the property ladder here and cash in?!
Honestly, I’ve only ever been to Wigan once and I went to Spoons, so my view of it wasn’t too dissimilar to this review: “The hub of the pissed-up activity at the weekend is King Street, a place where (to nobody’s surprise) there seems to be a murder once every couple of years.
“The road is closed to traffic every Friday and Saturday night, giving the drunken oafs the freedom to lurch around trying to find the taxis that aren’t allowed to drive down that road, or the takeaways that apparently aren’t allowed to serve anything that won’t make you ill for a couple of days.”
This is my hometown so I can say what I want about this shithole. Enjoy this considerably kind review: “Let us begin with the very heart of Droylsden – the precinct. Dominated by the vast grey concrete tumour that is the Concord Suite.
“A building so hideous that to gaze upon it leaves a stain on the scorched retinas of the observer. Imagine if you will, a building so hideous it makes the newly built Tameside Council Pension offices look like Cologne Cathedral.”
The square has got a little better since the Silly Country opened, still…
This one makes you do that deep breath in you do through your teeth when someone says something a bit risque: “It actually has some decent shops here to be honest, well catered for the masses of ball bags, moaning about paying 5p for a JD bag they’ll use for the rest of their lives until the black paint has come off and it looks like a dandruff encrusted version of it’s former self, sleeveless bubble coats to match.”
So there you have it some of the most brutal and degrading reviews of Greater Manchester we could find – we still love it though.
You can read more ruthless reviews here. If you’re offended, please please please, don’t let us know in the Facebook comments.
Remembering Lee Rigby nine years on from the devastating Woolwich terror attack
Nine years ago today, Lee Rigby lost his life in a sickening terror attack that haunts the nation to this day
It was an attack that shook the nation: On May 22nd 2013, Fusilier Lee Rigby was brutally murdered in a violent onslaught as horrified passerby’s watched on.
Lee, twenty-five, was a drummer in the Royal Regiment of Fusiliers, and had served in Cyprus, Germany and Afghanistan before becoming a recruiter with ceremonial duties at the Tower of London.
The father-of-one, from Middleton, had been an avid supporter of charity Help 4 Heroes, and was even wearing one of the foundation’s hoodies when he was targeted in an unprovoked and savage attack.
The father-of-one was outside his barracks in Woolwich, London at around 2pm, when he was hit by a car driven by Michael Adebolajo and Michael Adebowale, both said to be influenced by extremist group al-Muhajiroun.
The pair didn’t have any former knowledge of Lee, and it was believed to be his Help 4 Heroes hoody that alerted them to his connection with the military.
After hitting him with their car, the men leapt out and unleashed a brutal attack on the defenceless Lee, before a brave passer-by – later identified as Ingrid Loyau-Kennett – attempted to shield him from any further harm.
Ingrid was later nicknamed the ‘Angel of Woolwich’, but revealed that witnessing the attack had ‘ruined her life’.
Speaking to The Sun three years later in 2016, Ingrid said that while she was glad she stood up for Lee, she could feel nothing but ’emptiness around me’.
And Ingrid wasn’t the only passerby to get roped into the atrocity; another member of the public was approached by Adebolajo, who instructed him to start filming on his phone as he attempted to give an explanation for the brutal murder.
In the now infamous footage – which was controversially aired by ITV News later that day – Adebolajo can be seen soaked in blood and brandishing a meat cleaver as he blamed the British military’s murder of innocent muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Adebolajo was heard saying: “The only reason we have killed this man today is because Muslims are dying daily by British soldiers. And this British soldier is one…”.
Nine minutes after the first 999 call, armed police swooped upon the scene and opened fire. London Ambulance Service later confirmed that a man had been found dead at the scene, while two other men were taken to hospital, one of them in a serious condition.
In September that year, Adebolajo and Adebowale were found guilty of the murder of Lee Rigby, and were both sentenced to life imprisonment. They remain behind bars to this day.
In the wake of his death, Lee’s parents Lyn and Ian founded the Lee Rigby Foundation in his honour to support other grieving families of deceased military members by paying for holiday breaks and excursions.
They also worked tirelessly to open the Lee Rigby House in Staffordshire as a permanent retreat for bereaved Forces families and veterans.
Lee’s family told the Manchester Evening News on their grief: “It doesn’t get any easier with the passing years.
“But we are more determined than ever before to do right by him and honour his life, his memory and his enduring love and spirit.”
For more information on the Lee Rigby Foundation’s mission and to donate yourself, visit the official website here.
Manchester Arena Attack: How survivors are using their horrific experience to create something positive
Liv’s Trust has been funding education, music and dance for under twenty-fives across Greater Manchester for the last five years
Today, Sunday May 22nd, marks five years since the devastating Manchester Arena attack.
As concert-goers streamed out of the arena in the wake of an Ariana Grande concert, a suicide bomber detonated a homemade device, claiming the lives of twenty-two people – many of them children – and injuring hundreds more.
The unprecedented attack was the UK’s worst terror attack since the 7/7 bombings and, today, still stands as one of Manchester’s darkest days.
But out of the heartbreak, devastation and sorrow, Liv’s Trust was born.
One of the people to die in the attack was fifteen-year-old Olivia Campbell-Hardy, a talented teenager from Bury with the dream of one day becoming a music teacher.
In the wake of her death and struggling to come to terms with the tragedy, Olivia’s dad Andrew Hardy and her grandparents Steve and Sharon Goodman channeled their grief into the launch of a fundraising charity in her honour, which they later christened Liv’s Trust.
Staying true to its motto, ‘We Choose Love’, the foundation is dedicated to Olivia’s passion for the performing arts, and funds education, music and dance for under twenty-fives across Greater Manchester in the hope that others can achieve the dreams Olivia once had.
And, in the near five years since its launch, Liv’s Trust has not only helped countless people achieve their dreams in the arts, it has given Olivia’s grandad Steve a reason and a drive to carry on each day.
Speaking to Proper Manchester, Steve said: “Liv’s Trust gives me a reason to get up every day, and to keep working for it.
“Sharon and I are struggling a bit with the anniversary coming up, but the charity is helping us to have a bit of focus, and helping us to take our minds off of things.”
Since its launch, Liv’s Trust has helped people through a variety of different means, whether it be with the financial costs for teaching qualifications or by funding music lessons for schools and for children with additional or behavioural needs.
It has also contributed to travel costs for dance schools to take pupils to competitions, and has even paid for individual people to compete and fulfil their dreams, including one young woman with a dream to play the clarinet.
The woman, a student at the Royal Northern College of Music (RNCM), had her travel costs to London covered by the charity, which enabled her to eventually achieve her dream qualification.
Now that student has her Masters degree in the Clarinet and is teaching music, ‘just like Olivia had wanted to’, Steve noted.
And more recently, the trust extended a helping hand to a young Ukrainian refugee by arranging breakdancing lessons, a hobby he had pursued back in his home country before Russia’s invasion.
Steve explained: “After he moved into our community, someone asked if we could help him get some dance lessons here so he can continue with his training… It’s helped him massively with settling into our community and his new life.”
Though Liv’s Trust wouldn’t be where it is today without the help of its patrons and ambassadors, who all work tirelessly to keep Olivia’s legacy and memory alive.
One of those ambassadors is sixteen-year-old Amelia Thompson, a Derbyshire schoolgirl who survived the devastating attack on that fateful night.
Amelia was invited to the launch of Liv’s Trust and, after meeting Steve and Sharon became the charity’s ambassador where, for nearly five years, she has tirelessly raised money for the cause – last year, she even took part in a charity skydive, raising over £1,400 for the trust.
Speaking of what the charity means to her, Amelia said: “I think it’s so important to continue being a young ambassador because it’s so important to carry on Olivia’s legacy and to keep the memory and the spirits of the twenty-two alive.
“People should never forget the lives that were lost that night.”
Five years on from the attack, Amelia admits that while she still struggles, Liv’s Trust has helped with her recovery and treatment.
She explained: “It does get hard around this time of the year and around the anniversary. It plays on my mind a lot more than it usually would.
“But Liv’s Trust has definitely helped me with my recovery, and doing my own fundraising for the twenty-two has helped massively, too.
“It’s trying to make something positive out of something that was so so negative.”
On the future of Liv’s Trust, Steve added: “We just want to keep on how we’re going and keeping it family-run.
“We never expected to be as big as we are, so to be able to help hundreds of people the way we have has given us that reason to get up in the morning.
“It’s a great feeling to be able to help somebody, especially in a way that was close to Olivia’s heart.”
For more information on Liv’s Trust, its mission and how you can get involved, visit its official website here.
Street photographer creates incredible Mini Manchester and Blackpool nostalgia photo series
The photography series aims to encapsulate significant parts of Manchester’s history
Whether it be retro beer cans or vintage match boxes, there isn’t much that Gisela Szlatoszlavek will limit herself to to capture the spirit of the city.
While Gisela works full time as a teaching assistant, she is also a keen street photographer with a passion for documenting gentrified areas of Manchester, with her even having published That Golden Mile, a sell-out book on Blackpool street photography.
And it was a combination of these two professions that sparked the idea for her ‘Little’ series, with Gisela finding inspiration during a photography lesson.
Talking on the birth of the miniature series, which sees her create scenes using tiny models, Gisela told Proper Manchester: “The pupils were working with small figurines around the classroom, and it made me think of how well that would work out in the street.
“I started with Blackpool, and thinking of places that make the town iconic and recognisable… like the sunburned men wearing vests and local mums pushing prams.”
And being a local lass herself – she hails from Oldham – Gisela knew that Manchester and its vast history would provide the perfect backdrop for her new series.
She explained: “Everything I’ve done up to now is a nod to something special about the city, such as the Haçienda, the Manchester bee, Manchester United, and Manchester City.”
And despite the series only being a couple of months old, Gisela has countless instalments of a variety of different themes under her belt, all of which give an insight into life in both Blackpool and Manchester.
Her photographs range from trips to the football, chippy teas and seaside fun in Blackpool, and even trips to the iconic Haçienda nightclub – complete with a pair of maracas, of course.
And fans of Gisela’s work will notice a recurring retro theme, which in itself is a nod to her own passion for the 1980s: “That era was fantastic, I wish I could have taken these photos back then.
“So I wanted to try and create a lot of my series around that time period.”
A lot of the props used in the series are genuine vintage too, including retro beer cans found on eBay, cassette tapes and even match boxes from the era.
Putting together these images is no walk in the park, however, with some taking Gisela several weeks to complete from start to finish.
Every aspect of the photo – from the initial idea to the construction itself – is a painstaking process, with Gisela often spending hours at a time scouring through Google Street View to establish which spots will work the best, whether it be the aesthetics, the lighting or just for the finer details to add to the final image.
Gisela then buys the figurines online, and spends even more time hand painting them to adapt them to different scenes – for some photos, she’s even gone to the effort of making miniature outfits using a magnifying glass.
And actually taking the photos is no easier, mainly thanks to members of the public and busy traffic, which Manchester’s city centre in particular has an abundance of.
She explained: “Unsurprisingly, Market Street is definitely the hardest location to work, thanks to the volume of people and things going on in the background. @giselaszlatoszlavek / Instagram
“Because I have to be as low to the ground as possible, I do get members of the public coming up to me and asking what I’m doing and checking that I’m okay… Some people even think I’ve collapsed in the street!
“But most people are lovely, and are just curious and want to know what I’m doing.”
While the Little Manchester and Little Blackpool series remains as a side project for Gisela at the moment, she aims to one day collaborate with other artists, and eventually take on paid commissions.
This is only the beginning for Gisela’s Little series, so make sure to follow her official Instagram page to stay updated with her latest work.