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There’s an erotic book about Piers Morgan shagging a Greggs vegan sausage roll

Well that’s not a headline I thought I’d be writing…

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Alizee Yeezy / Amazon

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few years, you’ll be aware Greggs has been releasing a steady stream of vegan products, starting with their vegan sausage roll.

You’ll also be aware that Piers Morgan has been whipped up into an incandescent fury by the news that Greggs is offering vegan alternatives to their many meat products.

However, are you aware that someone has written an erotic novella about Piers Morgan shagging a Greggs vegan sausage roll?

ITV

That’s right, British YouTuber Alizee Yeezy has written an x-rated story about Piers Morgan having sex with one of the vegan rolls, and it’s currently doing the rounds online.

The story innocently begins with Piers and his Good Morning Britain co-host Susanna Reid telling the story of a dog that learned to play the piano after losing a paw.

As the story progresses, the action takes a bit of a turn, culminating in Susanna breaking down a door to witness a very shocking scene, the Metro reports.

Greggs

Yeezy writes: “She found Piers Morgan crouched over his bed, naked, with his penis inside a sausage roll. Empty Greggs packages littered his once-fine room; it was the scene of a bakery bombshell.

“Piers was covered in flaky pastry, sausage meat was stuck all over his hands. He was grunting, his body pouring with perspiration, droplets of sweat rolling down his forehead and red cheeks as he pumped himself frantically into the Nation’s Favourite Roll.”

After witnessing this Susanna faints – a fairly reasonable reaction given the sight she’s just witnessed.

Piers has since responded on Twitter, and it’s safe to say he’s not impressed, describing the book as ‘tasteless’. 

If you want to read the whole thing, Piers Morgan’s Vegan Lover is out now and available to purchase on Amazon.

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People have discovered how many calories Domino’s Garlic & Herb dip has and it’s blown their mind

HOW many?!

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@dominos_uk / Instagram

What’s the best part about ordering a Domino’s? Why, it’s the iconic Domino’s garlic and herb dip, of course.

Well, it might not be once you read the rest of this article, so continue with caution if you don’t want your future pizza binges ruined.

Right, let’s get straight to it – this week, it has come to the attention of many Domino’s fans that the official Domino’s nutritional count (yes, some of us actually read that) shows an alarmingly high number of calories in one pot of the dreamy garlic and herb dip.

@dominos_uk / Instagram

Just one 100g pot of the dip – a size that was introduced after very justifiable complaints over the portion sizes from the smaller pots – contains a whopping 675 calories, which is even more than the calorie count of three slices of a number of Domino’s pizzas.

To put it into perspective, if you’re still not appalled, that’s a higher calorie count than two McDonald’s cheeseburgers, which total to a measly 602 cals. Ouch.

Many people have been taking to Twitter to express their shock and disgust over the monstrous calorie count, with one person writing: “Devastated to discover the garlic and herb big dip pot from @dominos is 675 calories… I drink that stuff man…”

@dominos_uk / Instagram

Another despaired: Finding out the calorie content of Domino’s garlic and herb dip has both explained and ruined my existence.”

One person took the news very badly, writing: “600 calories in a pot of Domino’s garlic and herb dip – I AM SHOOK!!!”

While another added dramatically: “There are SEVEN HUNDRED calories in Domino’s garlic and herb dip my whole life is ruined.”

Though some people weren’t too fazed, with one person proudly declaring: “Just found out Domino’s garlic and herb dip has more calories than two McDonald’s cheese burgers. Still gonna slap it on my pizza tho like it’s the tears of Jesus.” Fair play.

And, to make you feel a bit better, the 100g BBQ dip only contains a total of 188 calories, while the Frank’s hot dip has just twenty-four calories for 100g. So it isn’t all bad news!

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People are making cheesy garlic bread using tiger loaves and it’s the stuff of dreams

You’ll never eat a tiger loaf the same again…

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Amanda Jayne Taylor / Facebook

Public service announcement: People have been making their own cheesy garlic breads out of tiger loaves. 

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that, out of all the food in the world, there’s nothing quite as delicious as bread baked in lashings of cheese and garlic, but never before had I fathomed the idea of a cheesy garlic tiger bread.

But low and behold, the internet has brought it firmly to my attention.

taste.com

Visionary amateur chef Amanda Jayne Taylor shared her own version of the delicious snack on the Facebook group, Food Ideas For All The Family, writing: “Easy but very yummy…… tiger loaf, sliced 3/4 through, butter mixed with garlic and chives n mozzarella n mature cheese and oven till all melted…”.

How bloody good does that sound?

Amanda’s recipe was quick to go viral on the Facebook page, with thousands of people applauding her for her creativity.

Amanda Jayne Taylor / Facebook

And while you’re here, this recipe comes just weeks after the recipe for cheesy garlic crumpets went viral.

The best example of the new food trend came courtesy of TikTok food page, Food Made Simple – In their clip, their allocated chef took five crumpets and cut them into quarters before arranging them in a baking dish. They then coated the crumpets in plenty of pre-melted garlic butter before adding a generous portion of grated cheese.

The crafty recipe was quick to go viral and has since had over 2 million views and thousands of comments.

Who else really fancies some cheesy toast and crumpets now?

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Mum of Manchester Arena victim calls Shamima Begum a ‘murderer’ following controversial interview

‘How do I sit in a courtroom in Manchester and listen to the horrific details that killed my son after listening to her ask for forgiveness’

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@caroline_LTAC / Twitter & ITV

Shamima Begum has been slammed as a ‘murderer’ by the mother of a Manchester Arena bombing victim following her controversial plea for forgiveness on Good Morning Britain today.

Her appearance on the ITV show this morning has sparked outrage among viewers, particularly with some of the families of Manchester Arena victims, who died in an ISIS-organised suicide bombing in 2017.

Taking to Twitter, Caroline Curry, the mother of nineteen-year old Liam Curry who died alongside his girlfriend Chloe Rutherford in the attack, said she felt ill watching Begum beg for forgiveness.

The grieving mother, from South Shields, wrote: “I feel absolutely ill to have to see this murderer on tv today!!

“How do I sit in a courtroom in Manchester and listen to the horrific details of the Manchester bombing that killed my son and his girlfriend after listening to her ask for forgiveness.”

Begum, who infamously fled her East London home to join terror group ISIS in Syria at the age of fifteen, apologised for previously saying the Manchester Arena attack had been ‘justified’, saying: “I do not believe that one evil justifies another evil. I don’t think that women and children should be killed for other people’s motives and for other people’s agendas.”

She also insisted that she didn’t know women and children had been hurt in the Manchester attack, stressing: “I did not know about the Manchester bombing when I was asked. I did not know that people were killed, I did not know that women and children were hurt because of it.”

In her interview, Begum also insisted that she could be a big help to the UK government in its fight against terrorism and online grooming, saying with confidence: “I think I could very much help you in your fight against terrorism because you clearly don’t know what you’re doing.”

Begum made headlines back in 2015 when she and two friends travelled to Syria from London to join ISIS. The girls went on to marry Jihadi fighters, Begum herself marrying a Dutch recruit. 

She was found heavily pregnant in a Syrian refugee camp in February 2019. The baby later died of pneumonia and Begum said she had previously lost two other children. Ever since, the young woman has been appealing the revoking of her British citizenship, while the Home Office continues to stress that she remains a ‘security risk.’

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