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There’s an erotic book about Piers Morgan shagging a Greggs vegan sausage roll

Well that’s not a headline I thought I’d be writing…

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Alizee Yeezy / Amazon

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few years, you’ll be aware Greggs has been releasing a steady stream of vegan products, starting with their vegan sausage roll.

You’ll also be aware that Piers Morgan has been whipped up into an incandescent fury by the news that Greggs is offering vegan alternatives to their many meat products.

However, are you aware that someone has written an erotic novella about Piers Morgan shagging a Greggs vegan sausage roll?

ITV

That’s right, British YouTuber Alizee Yeezy has written an x-rated story about Piers Morgan having sex with one of the vegan rolls, and it’s currently doing the rounds online.

The story innocently begins with Piers and his Good Morning Britain co-host Susanna Reid telling the story of a dog that learned to play the piano after losing a paw.

As the story progresses, the action takes a bit of a turn, culminating in Susanna breaking down a door to witness a very shocking scene, the Metro reports.

Greggs

Yeezy writes: “She found Piers Morgan crouched over his bed, naked, with his penis inside a sausage roll. Empty Greggs packages littered his once-fine room; it was the scene of a bakery bombshell.

“Piers was covered in flaky pastry, sausage meat was stuck all over his hands. He was grunting, his body pouring with perspiration, droplets of sweat rolling down his forehead and red cheeks as he pumped himself frantically into the Nation’s Favourite Roll.”

After witnessing this Susanna faints – a fairly reasonable reaction given the sight she’s just witnessed.

Piers has since responded on Twitter, and it’s safe to say he’s not impressed, describing the book as ‘tasteless’. 

If you want to read the whole thing, Piers Morgan’s Vegan Lover is out now and available to purchase on Amazon.

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Supermarkets putting security tags on cheese and more everyday items

Too far?

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@Celeste_Tam42 & @CharIieBennett / Twitter

More everyday products have been spotted with security tags in supermarkets as the cost of living crisis continues to bite.

Yesterday it was Lurpak butter, today it’s cheese, with people taking to social media to share photos of £3.99 blocks of Aldi cheddar covered with a tag.

As well as cheese, £8 lamb chops in a Co-op store in Wolverhampton were spotted protected with a GPS tracking device – according to reports supermarkets are also putting tags on some baby milk.

Twitter user Tam shared photos of the cheese and lamb, writing: “If you think Lurpak is bad – the local Aldi and Coop have started security tagging food. There was a GPS protected tag on a pack of lamb chops as well…”

In reference to tagging products, a Co-op spokesman said: “Co-op has been involved in a small-scale trial of new packaging for higher value products for well over a year, with the additional security providing a further deterrent if a store locally experiences shoplifting issues”.

Lurpak has also gone viral in recent weeks as people take to social media to reveal how much its price has risen in various supermarkets.

This obsession reached a peak this week, with a 1kg tub of Lurpak spotted for a whopping £9.35 by one social media user.

The expensive tub of Lurpak butter was shared to Twitter by Josh Christian, who said: “Stop the world I want to get off… @Lurpak come on lads this is a joke @Conservatives this is all your fault we’re all going to be eating dry toast stop taking off us and sort this mess out people are starving while your m8 are getting richer”.

And that’s not the only place raising the price of large tubs of the butter, with some shoppers spotting a 1kg pack costing £9 at Ocado online.

As well as that, Morrisons is selling 1kg packs of Lurpak for £7.50 on its website, while last week a 500g tub was seen going for £5 – just a short while ago this would have cost £3.65.

Shoppers have been questioning why the price has risen so much, with Vivien McDermott saying: “Why is it so expensive? Morrisons salted butter 250g was £1.75 last week so £7 if you buy a kilo worth. Save a few quid that way.”

Jayne Gardiner added: “That’s disgusting, I’d never pay that, just to have jam on toast would cost over a tenner, no way.”

Lurpak is in such high demand that it was also spotted with security tags in at least one Asda supermarket.

​​Charlie Bennett shared a photo of the heavily protected tub, writing: “Britain in 2022… Lurpak butter is at £6 a tub in ASDA and even has a security tag on it.”

The buttery news comes as food prices continue to rocket on the whole around the country, with experts blaming soaring inflation, Brexit, the war in Ukraine and a cost of living crisis.

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Yes, ANOTHER lorry has got stuck under this notorious Greater Manchester bridge

It’s happened again…

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Google Maps

Just weeks after we reported that a van got stuck under a notorious Greater Manchester railway bridge, yet another vehicle has met the same fate.

Even though there is large yellow lettering warning drivers that it is actually a low bridge, people still keep trying their luck.

Located on Prescott Street in Wigan, this time the driver of a white lorry thought their vehicle could fit under the bridge – it couldn’t.

According to reports the incident happened on the evening of Monday July 4th as the evening rush hour got underway.

Naturally, this led to traffic chaos along both the road and surrounding area.

A photo of the lorry in question was posted to social media, showing the substantial damage it had received after getting stuck.

One social media user said, as per Wigan Today: “Getting out of hand now this just put bollards up and stop it as a rat run.”

Another added: “Too many getting stuck under that bridge”, while a third joked: “Got to admit the guys who built that bridge did a good job.”

The bridge has earned itself quite the reputation among drivers in the town thanks to its deceptively low parapet.

Over the years, a number of vans and lorries have wound up wedged under the bridge – at least once a month, according to one resident – which ironically features a bold ‘LOW BRIDGE’ sign on both sides.

And so many drivers ignore the sign and get their vehicles stuck under the bridge, in fact, that there is even a Facebook page dedicated to shaming those who underestimate the size of their vehicle.

The description for the Box Vans vs Prescott St Bridge Facebook page simply reads: “A collection of photos of idiots who don’t know the height of the vehicle they’re driving”.

The page does exactly what it says on the tin; shares updates and photos whenever a van gets itself wedged under the bridge. 

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Lurpak has been spotted for £9.35 in one supermarket and shoppers are furious

‘Stop the world I want to get off’

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@Joshpeterchrist & @CharIieBennett / Twitter

As the cost of living crisis continues to hit us in our bank accounts, one rather inconspicuous, common supermarket item has become a barometer for rising prices: Lurpak.

The humble butter spread has gone viral in recent weeks as people take to social media to reveal how much its price has risen in various supermarkets.

This obsession has reached a peak this week, with a 1kg tub of Lurpak spotted for a whopping £9.35 by one social media user.

The expensive tub of Lurpak butter was shared to Twitter by Josh Christian, who said: “Stop the world I want to get off… @Lurpak come on lads this is a joke @Conservatives this is all your fault we’re all going to be eating dry toast stop taking off us and sort this mess out people are starving while your m8 are getting richer”.

And that’s not the only place raising the price of large tubs of the butter, with some shoppers spotting a 1kg pack costing £9 at Ocado online.

As well as that, Morrisons is selling 1kg packs of Lurpak for £7.50 on its website, while last week a 500g tub was seen going for £5 – just a short while ago this would have cost £3.65.

Shoppers have been questioning why the price has risen so much, with Vivien McDermott saying: “Why is it so expensive? Morrisons salted butter 250g was £1.75 last week so £7 if you buy a kilo worth. Save a few quid that way.”

Jayne Gardiner added: “That’s disgusting, I’d never pay that, just to have jam on toast would cost over a tenner, no way.”

And it seems that Lurpak is in such high demand that it’s even been spotted with security tags in at least one Asda supermarket.

​​Charlie Bennett shared a photo of the heavily protected tub, writing: “Britain in 2022… Lurpak butter is at £6 a tub in ASDA and even has a security tag on it.”

The buttery news comes as food prices continue to rocket on the whole around the country, with experts blaming soaring inflation, Brexit, the war in Ukraine and a cost of living crisis.

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