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All the weird names each UK region has for the TV remote

Really?

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Santeri Viinamäki / Wikimedia

The television remote control, to give it its full and proper title, is an essential fixture in most homes in the UK.

It’s also often the main cause of arguments among families and friends who just can’t decide what to watch on an evening – Coronation Street or football, the great debate rages on.

But what do you call it in your house? Well, it turns out there’s an incredibly diverse range of names for the humble remote, and some of them are just bizarre.

espensorvik / Flickr

Absolute Radio DJs Andy Bush and Richie Firth asked Twitter what they call a TV remote in their local area, and collated the answers into a handy map of the UK.

First up, the way the different regions are broken up looks a bit off, so bear with me – their version of the North East seems to take in North Yorkshire and Cumbria for some reason.

According to the map, the North West – minus Cumbria – calls it a ‘presser’, which is news to me but okay, while the North East – plus Cumbria and North Yorkshire – calls it a ‘zapper’.

In West/South Yorkshire it’s a ‘clicker’, in Humberside/Lincolnshire a ‘doofer’, in the West Midlands it’s a ‘hopper’, while in the East Midlands apparently people call it a ‘blobber’!?

It’s all a bit boring in East Anglia, the South East and part of the South West, but when you get down to Devon and Cornwall it’s a ‘jobby’, which I always thought meant a shit?

As for the other UK nations, in Northern Ireland apparently it’s a ‘plunker’, in Scotland ‘the doo dar’ and in Wales a ‘wadger’ – there’s no way anyone calls it that, is there?

How accurate is this map do you reckon? What do you call the remote round your gaff?

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Cyclists could be made to have number plates and follow speed limits under new law

The law could also see cyclists require insurance in order to use their bikes on the road

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Denise Jans / Unsplash

Cyclists could soon be required to have registration number plates and observe speed limits in a new shake-up of road laws.

This means that, much like other road users, cyclists would be subject to penalty points and fines for speeding or running red lights.

According to reports, a governmental review into the country’s cycling laws is soon set to take place. This review will also look into whether or not cyclists should require insurance to use the roads.

Under current laws, cyclists are not required to have insurance in order to use their bikes on the roads, and therefore are not liable for any damage they may cause.

@munbaik_cycling / Unsplash

Transport secretary Grant Shapps told the Daily Mail that he backs changes to road laws to ensure cyclists are more accountable for their actions.

He said: “Somewhere where cyclists are actually not breaking the law is when they speed, and that cannot be right, so I absolutely propose extending speed limit restrictions to cyclists.

“I don’t want to stop people from getting on their bike, it’s a fantastic way to travel, and we’ve seen a big explosion of cycling during Covid and since.

“But I see no reason why cyclists should break the road laws and be able to get away with it.”

Road safety campaigner and solicitor Nick Freeman supported the law change, with him telling the publication: “This is something that needs to happen for everyone’s safety and Grant Shapps should be congratulated for eventually listening.”

@rosssneddon / Unsplash

This comes after Shapps announced a new dangerous driving law that will see cyclists be prosecuted in the same way as drivers in the event of pedestrian deaths.

The law change will close a legal loophole that means cyclists who kill pedestrians can only be jailed for two years.

Shapps said the newly proposed law is needed to ‘impress on cyclists the real harm they can cause when speed is combined with lack of care’.

He added that the law is aimed at the ‘selfish minority’ of cyclists who believe they are ‘immune’ to red lights.

Shapps’s proposal will see the new cycling law be added to the transport bill due to be put before parliament in the autumn.

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Elon Musk says he’s ‘buying Manchester United’

The world’s richest man seemingly has his eyes set upon Old Trafford…

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Elon Musk sent football fans into a frenzy last night after announcing his plans to purchase Manchester United.

The Tesla and SpaceX CEO – who has a net worth of around £200 billion, making him the richest man in the world – submitted a bid in the region of £31 billion to buy Twitter back in April, though he is now attempting to exit the deal.

At the time, Manchester United fans urged Musk to instead splash his cash on their team amid fierce protests against the club’s current owners, the Glazer family. 

And in the early hours of this morning (August 17th), Musk seemingly made those wishes come true by following up a joke about political parties in the US with the tweet: “Also, I’m buying Manchester United ur welcome”. 

While Musk is known for his tongue-in-cheek tweets, his announcement last night sparked excitement and speculation amongst Manchester United fans, who seemed to support the idea of the South African businessman running the club. 

One United supporter replied: “You have absolutely no idea the sheer amount of hope you just have to a million fans worldwide. Please do buy us though.”

Another encouraged: “If you want a real challenge in life, it’s not putting people on Mars, it’s making @ManUTD successful again. Buy out the Glazers [and] with our 600m global followers you instantly become the most popular person in the world!”

A third made a joking reference to the peculiar name Musk chose for his son, writing: “At this point, I don’t care if you rename Old Trafford as ‘X Æ A-12 Musk Stadium’. Just buy the club.”

However, a couple of hours after his initial tweet, Musk backtracked on his claim, revealing to his 103.4 million followers that he was only joking. 

Replying to a follower who asked if he was being serious, Musk wrote: “No, this is a long-running joke on Twitter. I’m not buying any sports teams.”

Though he later said if he were to buy a sports club, it would be Manchester United because ‘they were my fav [sic] team as a kid’.

Manchester United are currently bottom of the Premier League, for the first time since August 1992, after a humiliating 4-0 loss to Brentford on Saturday. 

 

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Cat owner receives threatening letter from neighbour over ‘abusive’ collar

The letter also threatened to report the owner for ‘animal abuse’

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Beth German / Facebook

A cat owner has been forced to turn to the police after her neighbour posted an anonymous letter threatening to take her pet.

Beth German, twenty-one, started letting her six-month-old kitten Elton outdoors two weeks ago and, as a way to warn any birds and animals of his presence, attached a bell to his collar.

However, upon returning to her home in Hazel Grove yesterday (August 15th), Beth was greeted with an anonymous hand-written letter from one of her neighbours, who ordered her to remove the ‘abusive’ bell or face having her kitten ‘rehomed’.

The letter read: “Take the bell off the cat’s collar or I will rehome it and report you for animal abuse.”

Beth German / Facebook

An extra note scrawled on the back of the letter added: “You wouldn’t like it if I did it to you”.

Beth said she has an inkling as to which neighbour posted the letter, noting how she’s had issues with someone stealing her bins and ‘generally being awkward’ in the past.

Her Ring Doorbell also caught the culprit in the act and, while she couldn’t see their face clearly, she said it ‘looked very much like them.’

She told Proper Manchester: “I went straight to the neighbour we’ve had issues with before and she said it wasn’t her, but I’m not convinced.”

To ensure she wasn’t ‘abusing’ her cat with the collar, Beth decided to contact her vet, who reassured her of the safety of collars on kittens and ‘laughed at such a horrendous accusation’.

Beth German / Facebook

She also rang 101 to file a report under ‘malicious threats through the post’, with the police being confused as to why anyone would pen such a letter.

Beth explained: “The police have said to keep doing what I’m doing because I’m not doing anything wrong. They said if they do it again, they’ll come out and talk to them themselves.”

Despite the police’s support on the matter, however, Beth is now too worried to let Elton or her other kitten Etta outdoors out of fear they will be taken.

Greater Manchester Police have been contacted for comment.

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