Feature
Some of the most brutal reviews of Greater Manchester towns
These are ruthless…
Published
5 years agoon
By
Alex WatsonWhile we definitely think Greater Manchester is the greatest place on earth, we can’t help but have a laugh at these terrible reviews of areas of our region.
ILiveHere.co.uk is a website specialising in providing terrible and brutally honest reviews of areas across the country, and each year it releases a list of the top ten worst places to live in the UK – here’s the list for 2020, if you’re interested.
We’ve hand-picked some of the best insults the site has dished out to areas across Greater Manchester – take it all with a pinch of salt and remember it’s just a laugh!
Mossley
In an article titled ‘Mossley, home of ‘Who’s got the most toes competition’ you can imagine what the rest of the review was like.
In a small section that’s without profanities, the review describes the town with a nod to evolution: “Darwin clearly left Mossley out when he wrote origin of species.” Not exactly something you’ll see on a poster board for the town…
Saddleworth
The reviews of Saddleworth are all pretty similar in their incredibly derogatory comments.
This one sums it up: “Saddleworthians are easily spotted in a crowd amongst their fellower Oldhamer’s. They’re the ones who have fake accents, no wit and a false sense of superiority. Yes if you like a bit of bullsh*t and self congratulations you’re in for a treat.”
Rochdale
Unfortunately, Rochdale has made the site’s top 10 worst places to live in the entire country list two years running.
Most of the reviews see some pretty catty comments about the inhabitants of Rochdale, with one stating: “Majority of the residents disdain this town. The sole act of living here, and even being associated with Rochdale is a disgrace. Not for trivial, but rather major reasons. In fact, the (not so) respectful residents may just happen to be the contributory factor!
“Possessors of low IQ, users of unknown speech codes, devoted to ‘grime’ and overly fond of drugs, in particular marijuana- are few of the admirable traits and practices common among the youth.”
Ouch…
Harpurhey
All I know of this place is to avoid it, and this review seems to agree: “When me mam told me we were moving to Harpurhey in 2002, I was devastated.
“When she showed me the estate we were going to move on to I tried to throw myself under the 52 bus. Unfortunately it never turned up on time, I don’t think it ever has since. Here lies the problems with Harpurhey.”
Bolton
One of my few experiences of Bolton involves venturing to a nightclub called J2. I got attacked by a girl for looking at her in a takeaway, after being served triangle shapes of buttered toast in J2 a few hours earlier. Great times.
This reviewer really isn’t a fan of the place either: “Superficially at first the greenery, rivers Croal and Irwell seem appealing… unfortunately, soon you have a suspicion that all is not as it appears-in fact the whole place gives the impression of nature reclaiming post-holocaust man-made destruction, the greenery taking from direct sight the utter ruination wrought by hundreds of years of poisoning the land, and utter despoliation of the environment.
“The place has a sort of chemical stink…a miasma…even on the freshest of days.”
Salford
Salford has come a long way in recent years so I’m going to guess this review was left a while back, probably by someone from Walkden: “Charles Darwin would have had a field day here, as Salford not merely proves the theory of evolution but actually allows a casual observer to witness the process in reverse.”
Stockport
This one really paints a picture of the home town of Blossoms, maybe it was left before the Plaza had a revamp: “The average Stopfordian seems to roll out of his bed around eleven, take a 192 – or better still a deathtrap Corsa with a stolen stereo more powerful than it’s engine – down to sign on and then simply hangs around in the town.
“They aren’t even entertaining like the drunks in Manchester they’re just, well… ****!”
Bury
I’ve never ventured to Bury so I can’t vouch for how true this one might be: “Bury has its own perfume – Eau de Weed which is particularly noticeable between the Spotted Cow and the Old Crow on Bell Lane.”
Stretford
Widely recognised as the next victim of gentrification, here’s a cracking and detailed review of the south Manchester suburb: “The local park is full of teenagers who have broken the children’s climbing frames. These teens are usually swearing their heads of pissed off white ace and that’s just on a Monday afternoon.
“The local council then put a murder tape round it for nearly two years. The people who cant escape have taken to impaling themselves just to end it all.”
What you waiting for, get on the property ladder here and cash in?!
Wigan
Honestly, I’ve only ever been to Wigan once and I went to Spoons, so my view of it wasn’t too dissimilar to this review: “The hub of the pissed-up activity at the weekend is King Street, a place where (to nobody’s surprise) there seems to be a murder once every couple of years.
“The road is closed to traffic every Friday and Saturday night, giving the drunken oafs the freedom to lurch around trying to find the taxis that aren’t allowed to drive down that road, or the takeaways that apparently aren’t allowed to serve anything that won’t make you ill for a couple of days.”
Droylsden
This is my hometown so I can say what I want about this shithole. Enjoy this considerably kind review: “Let us begin with the very heart of Droylsden – the precinct. Dominated by the vast grey concrete tumour that is the Concord Suite.
“A building so hideous that to gaze upon it leaves a stain on the scorched retinas of the observer. Imagine if you will, a building so hideous it makes the newly built Tameside Council Pension offices look like Cologne Cathedral.”
The square has got a little better since the Silly Country opened, still…
Wythenshawe
This one makes you do that deep breath in you do through your teeth when someone says something a bit risque: “It actually has some decent shops here to be honest, well catered for the masses of ball bags, moaning about paying 5p for a JD bag they’ll use for the rest of their lives until the black paint has come off and it looks like a dandruff encrusted version of it’s former self, sleeveless bubble coats to match.”
So there you have it some of the most brutal and degrading reviews of Greater Manchester we could find – we still love it though.
You can read more ruthless reviews here. If you’re offended, please please please, don’t let us know in the Facebook comments.
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Feature
The personal trainer who trains disabled and elderly clients for free at his community gym
Javeno is changing things up in the gym world
Published
3 months agoon
September 17, 2024A personal trainer at a gym in Greater Manchester has been supporting members of the community who are living with a disability by offering them free inclusive gym sessions.
If you head to Blackley in North Manchester, you’ll find J7 Health Centre, a community fitness gym run by Javeno McLean.
We went down to speak to Javeno and his clients about what makes this place so special and different from going to your ordinary gym or workout studio.
We stepped out of the taxi armed with recording equipment and so many questions, as we were dropped off on the main road close to the location of J7.
None of us had ever been there before, and as we were looking around, clearly a little lost, a woman asked: “Are you looking for somewhere?” I replied: “Yes, we’re looking for a gym.”
“It’s right there,” she said pointing to the end of a row set back off the main road. I thanked her and she gave a warm smile.
Clearly, she knew exactly the place we were looking for – it seems to be a bit famous around the area.
As we walked into the painted bright orange space, the music was blasting and friendly faces of other trainers greeted us. Inside, ‘80s power ballads were playing on the radio and ‘She’s a Maniac’ from Flashdance was pretty much setting the scene of what it’s like at J7.
Javeno’s personal trainer colleagues welcomed us and then went to find him. Three of his clients, Aimee, Josh and Fran were also there, so we could have a chat with them and find out about what goes on.
As the camera started rolling and I asked him my first question, but as he went to answer someone working out behind a big divider screen could be heard breathing heavily as they were on a weights machine.
Javeno immediately picked up on it. It made for a comedy gold moment and after we had all finished laughing, we started the interview again.
Javeno told me he’d been working with people in the community for a number of years, but before that he was a powerlifter and won several awards from competitions. He then decided to help people out in the community and give something back.
Now he offers free classes to people who are living with a disability, so they can come and train at his community gym and enjoy the benefits of socialising as well as the confidence exercising brings them.
Javeno told Proper Manchester: “I’ve been training people for 23 years. It’s been a long journey but one thing that I’m very proud of is, anybody disabled or elderly, I’ve never took a penny off anybody.
“I’ve always believed that if you really want to help somebody from the purest part of your soul, you’ve got to do it because you want to. And it’s just allowed me to build amazing, strong relationships with people.”
You’ve probably already come across Javeno and his J7 community gym while scrolling online.
The fitness guru has hundreds of thousands of followers and documents some of the sessions he does with clients who may be recovering from a stroke, cancer treatment or living with a disability, as they take on tasks, boost their confidence and most importantly, have some fun.
Some of his videos have gone viral across the world, spreading the positive movement J7 is helping to create. And, speaking to some of Javeno’s clients, it’s no wonder they chose to come back here time and time again.
On how she first came across ‘Jay’, Aimee said: “One of my friends messaged me and said, ‘you need to get in with this guy Jay, he’s sick!’. So then he got him on the phone and he said ‘I don’t wanna talk to you on the phone, I wanna meet you, get here now, like right now’.
“And I was like, ‘I’m currently in bed, I can’t move, what do you want me to do?’ He’s like ‘get here right now’ and I’m like, ‘I’m kind of stuck, but ok, we’ll go with that’.”
Fran also came across him on TikTok. She said: “I’ve been coming for nearly a year and it’s just been the best thing that’s ever happened. I saw Javeno on TikTok and was like ‘oh, who’s this fella?’”
On what makes J7 gym stand out from the rest, Josh said: “I enjoy just the general vibe and atmosphere. People think of the word gym and they think oh, it’s gonna be a job, it’s gonna be a chore, but here it’s not.
“I get to come here and I get to have a laugh with friends, and dance and make funny jokes and stuff like that. It’s just fun, it’s just fun.”
On what his community gym is all about, what drives him and how he aims to help people, Javeno tells us: “A lot of people don’t enjoy life, a lot of people go through life just existing – it shouldn’t be like that.”
He continues: “Whether it’s able bodied or disabled people, we ain’t here to exist, we’re here to experience life and take in every little bit of joy that life can give us. Sometimes they sit in that chair and they say ‘yep, this is me forever,’ – not with my guys.
“The main plan is to make sure that, that wheelchair, that disability or whatever you’ve got, is just a section of your life but doesn’t define your entire life. To me, seeing these guys living their lives and just being happy and normal – that to me is the greatest thing.”
On how Javeno has helped make a difference to her life and what makes her come back to J7, Aimee said: “For me, it’s all about disability awareness and showing people that no matter your ability or disability, you can get out of that chair if you really want to. “
She adds: “You just have to have the determination and I didn’t have that before I came here.
“And that’s one of the things that Jay has taught me and I will be forever grateful for that. It’s about reaching everybody’s potential and just loving yourself.”
Josh agrees as he says: “I like it better here because it’s more personal. There’s a lot of other personal trainers that are only there just to get the job done whereas with Jay, it’s more about how can I help you overcome your struggles.”
But it’s not just a place centred around physical health, it’s a place where mental wellbeing is also at the forefront, as Fran puts it: “We do weights, we do grip work, we also have a chat as well about mental health.
“That is just as important as your physical health and Javeno will ask me, ‘are you ok? How are you doing?’ and I will tell him straight.”
“The priority for me has always been are you ok? Are you good? Is there anything I can do and if you need me I’m here,” Javeno adds.
Javeno continues to offer hope to people across the globe with his inspiring videos as he challenges the status quo and discovers the many talents and wonderful personalities of those who train at J7.
J7 Health Centre is a community gym located at Unit 6, 73 Old Market St, Manchester M9 8DX.
If you’re struggling to find it, just ask one of the local residents, they’ll be sure to point you in the right direction!
Feature
Memories of demolished Trafford Park Bakery from the people that worked there
From bomb threats, to falling asleep on conveyor belts, to eating space cakes – fun times and sad times happened here, until one day it was all over
Published
8 months agoon
April 19, 2024Trafford Park was once home to a huge bakery where workers would ‘get up to no good’ but still ‘get the job done’, until one day it closed for good. Here’s their tales from the Trafford Park Bakery days.
It once stood on Ashburton Road West in the industrial maze that is Trafford Park, until it was torn down in 2008.
The bakery was known for offering well paid jobs to people living in the surrounding areas, attracting workers from Eccles, Urmston, Stretford, Salford and Stockport, as well as a number of agency staff.
When the recession happened in the 1980s, a lot of tradespeople found themselves out of work, and for a steady income many of them took up employment at Trafford Park Bakery.
Ex-United defender Bobby Noble also got a job there. He had to retire early from football at the age of 23 after he was injured in a road accident, which damaged his sight and the ability to judge the flight of the ball.
He played among the likes of Best, Law, Stiles and Charlton and helped the team achieve League title victory in the 1966/67 season. Sadly, Bobby passed away last year, but his former colleagues remember him as ‘a lovely man’ and ‘funny guy’ with ‘great stories’.
Employees enjoyed the times they had at the bakery with their mates so much, they even set up a Facebook group after it closed down called ‘Trafford Park Bakery…They think it’s all over! It is now….’ to stay in touch and remember the best times.
Clare Callaghan got a job there after previously doing part-time work to fit around her children.
About how she came to work at the bakery, Clare says: “I’d never had a job like that before, I always worked in pubs, cleaning and doing school dinners – whatever fitted in with the kids.”
But when Clare’s kids got a bit older and went to school, she looked for full-time work and landed a job at the bakery as a quiche assembler.
She remembers: “I’ll never forget walking along the high corridor with glass windows on each side so you could see the production areas. And then you walked over to the assembly area where they actually made the stuff and all the machines were on and I thought ‘oh my god’, you know, it looked like Willy Wonka’s.”
Describing her job, she said: “So there was a conveyor belt and four girls on scales putting peppers and goats cheese on the quiches and then I topped them off with parmesan cheese. So I was just stood there sprinkling parmesan all shift. Sometimes my eyes would be closing.”
About the people she worked with, Clare said: “Every line was fun but our line was good fun. It was a mixture of younger and older women and men.”
Clare was quickly made the new line leader ‘in no time’ after one person got sacked and another moved to nights after photos of them ‘misbehaving’ at work fell into the hands of senior management.
Mike Minshall trained Clare up to work in the quiche department when she first started.
On how he found a job at the bakery, Mike said: “I actually found out through one of the national papers – my wife told me.
“And I applied and one of the daft questions was: ‘If we made nuts and bolts and we did 10 an hour, how many would we do in eight hours?’ In my answer, I put: ‘I thought you made pies?’
“The girl interviewing me was called Janet and she went: ‘Right, you’re in because you’re the only one who’s given me a daft answer’.”
Mike recalled his first day on shift, saying: “On my first day at work, I met my boss Pete – who I thought the world of. I went, ‘what do I have to do?’, he went, ‘lean against that wall’. I went, ‘what?’. He went, ‘lean against that wall and every time he [one of his colleagues] walks past, say knobhead.’”
“So I asked why and he told me that the guy was asked to clean the machine and he put a hose pipe in the panel and blew it up.
“He told me that was my job for the day; to lean against the wall and call him a knobhead.”
Remembering other hilarious happenings, Mike said: “My friend fell asleep on a conveyor belt and he was lucky he didn’t get dropped into the pastry cutter. He was on the hygiene team.
“One time, I walked into my department and this gentleman is there on his back in a machine that we wash the trays in, having a cigarette because it had an extractor fan. He’s lucky it was me.”
“There’s all sorts of different stories, there were affairs going on – there were 800 people who worked there,” he continued.
As Mike also recalled: “Our taps were touch sensitive so if you brushed past the tap it came on. So, this gentleman was telling someone who couldn’t work the water, ‘you have to be more assertive and say, water, as you brush past the sensor’.
“So this lad kept saying ‘water’ and getting told it’s not working because he needs to be more assertive when he says it.
“After 20 minutes this was guy was shouting ‘I want water, give me the effing water!’ When all he had to do was brush it.”
R worked at the bakery from 1988 on the Hygiene Department doing night shifts. He was also a line leader.
Remembering one funny incident, he said: “I remember one day the boss walked in while we were in the middle of working and told us that an animal rights organisation had been on the phone and issued a bomb threat to the bakery.
“So we were like ‘right’ and started to put everything down and make our way out of the door. But the boss was like ‘no, not yet, it’s not until 1 ‘o’ clock, carry on with what you’re doing’.
“We were all just laughing at him and was like, ‘I don’t think so’ and carried on walking out.”
Another time, R recalled a new lad staring on his line who was a ‘hard worker’ and so he mentioned to his boss to help make him feel welcomed so they could keep him working on their line.
He offered the new lad a lift into work if he was ever stuck for getting in. A number of weeks went by until one particular morning, the lad did call R before work and asked if he could pick him up on route.
He told him his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend had spotted him and was chasing him around the streets and so he was hiding in some bushes.
“I said ‘no problem, mate’ not thinking anything of it,” R said.
R pulled up and the new lad jumped in and was keeping his head down. R continued: “I told him ‘there’s no need to worry now, you’re in the car. But as we were driving in the car lit up and I was like ‘why’s the car lighting up? Is that a helicopter?’.
“Anyway, we got to work and I didn’t think anything of it. But later on my manager pulled me and told me I had to tell the new lad he was needed at the nurses’s station.
“They told me not to tell anyone and to keep it to myself. Straight away I knew what they meant and so I told him to go to the nurses station and police came to take him away in handcuffs.
“He was a really nice lad and a good worker, but it turns out he was a car thief too.”
Clare remembers another time when someone brought in ‘space cakes’ on a night shift and that one of the guys on the line ate one ‘and his head nearly fell off,’ she laughed.
The fun times kept on coming as people made friends for life at Trafford Park Bakery, until one day, news broke it was closing down and those good times would become fond memories etched in the minds of those who once worked there.
On his time at Trafford Park Bakery, Mike said: “I loved every minute of it there and if it was still there, I’d still be there. I worked there for 10 years before it shut. When it was closing down, I was told before everyone else. But it was announced on the BBC before they told everyone.
“My late wife rang me and told me ‘you’ve all lost your jobs’, and we were told to not talk to the media or you could jeopardise your redundancy. I miss my team. People move on but I do miss people. I miss the Christmas dinners there because the senior management had to serve you, and I’d be bossing them around.”
After the bakery closed, Mike went to work for Peugeot but didn’t like it. He then went back to ‘what I was good at’, which was repairing wagons. But he said he ‘didn’t like getting full of oil’. He then went to work for Rivita and West Mill at Trafford Park but is retired now.
He added: “I’ve had an interesting time but the best time was when I was there [at Trafford Park Bakery] with that lot because they were all crackers.”
About her time working there, Clare added: “It was ace. I mean, we got the work done, and everyone used to moan about the place but it didn’t matter what shift you were on, you knew everyone – it was just brilliant, you could make a television series out of it.
“But I mean, some of the things I couldn’t repeat!”
Clare still keeps in touch with Barbara who worked on her line and goes to visit her sometimes for a catch up.
Feature
Remembering Manchester’s lost underground market that now lies empty beneath the city
Do you have memories of shopping in the underground Market Centre?
Published
9 months agoon
March 14, 2024Manchester used to have an underground market that now lies abandoned beneath the city centre.
If you walk along Market Street, you’re walking above what used to be the Market Centre – an underground shopping area filled with stalls and units selling music, clothes and a variety of other essential and non-essential items.
The underground Market Centre opened in 1972 and was a busy and bustling shopping emporium, much like the Arndale and Market Street both are today.
Punks would shop there for outfits, music fans could browse through the vinyl record shops and buy tickets to gigs at Piccadilly Box Office. It even had a Stolen from Ivor – which was the first place in Manchester to sell the jeans brand Levi’s, and where many would flock to get their hands on a pair of 501s.
Fashion addicts could hit up shops including Roxy, Oasis and Justins as well as a number of other boutique stalls, including the leather shop, for cool jackets.
DJs could sift through the collections at Underground Records Import and fans could shop at iconic music stalls including Collectors Records, Yvonne’s Record Stall, and the Spinn Inn Disc Centre.
The Market Centre was the place to be throughout the ‘70s and ‘80s until it closed down in 1989.
The entrance to it was located on Brown Street, with two other entrances on Norfolk Street and Spring Gardens. It had escalators going down under the pavement that led to this total treasure trove.
If you head to the Tesco on Market Street and go down to the lower level, you’re actually in what used to be part of the underground market.
But now it has fallen into disrepair, with the odd urban explorer who has dared to delve into the depth of the city to see what remains of this now eerie, decaying ghost market.
One explorer, known as Urban Sherman on YouTube, went down to have a look at what’s left of these once bustling underground stalls. Finding a way into where the old main entrance was located, down by the side of Tesco behind the food trailer, he climbs in and lands on the old steps with tiled walls.
As torches light up the dark depths of the city, we can see wires hanging, rubble strewn across the floor, graffiti on walls and one rusty sign that reads: “factory prices.”
It appears a wall of breeze blocks has been put up to block off any entry along the halls of the former market with the rest of it inaccessible, only to live on in the memories of those who once shopped there, and in old archived photographs.
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