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There’s an erotic book about Piers Morgan shagging a Greggs vegan sausage roll

Well that’s not a headline I thought I’d be writing…

Jamie Roberts

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Alizee Yeezy / Amazon

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past few years, you’ll be aware Greggs has been releasing a steady stream of vegan products, starting with their vegan sausage roll.

You’ll also be aware that Piers Morgan has been whipped up into an incandescent fury by the news that Greggs is offering vegan alternatives to their many meat products.

However, are you aware that someone has written an erotic novella about Piers Morgan shagging a Greggs vegan sausage roll?

ITV

That’s right, British YouTuber Alizee Yeezy has written an x-rated story about Piers Morgan having sex with one of the vegan rolls, and it’s currently doing the rounds online.

The story innocently begins with Piers and his Good Morning Britain co-host Susanna Reid telling the story of a dog that learned to play the piano after losing a paw.

As the story progresses, the action takes a bit of a turn, culminating in Susanna breaking down a door to witness a very shocking scene, the Metro reports.

Greggs

Yeezy writes: “She found Piers Morgan crouched over his bed, naked, with his penis inside a sausage roll. Empty Greggs packages littered his once-fine room; it was the scene of a bakery bombshell.

“Piers was covered in flaky pastry, sausage meat was stuck all over his hands. He was grunting, his body pouring with perspiration, droplets of sweat rolling down his forehead and red cheeks as he pumped himself frantically into the Nation’s Favourite Roll.”

After witnessing this Susanna faints – a fairly reasonable reaction given the sight she’s just witnessed.

Piers has since responded on Twitter, and it’s safe to say he’s not impressed, describing the book as ‘tasteless’. 

If you want to read the whole thing, Piers Morgan’s Vegan Lover is out now and available to purchase on Amazon.

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Man who tweeted ‘I am not ok’ receives thousands of responses from around the world

This is wonderful to see.

Alex Watson

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This Morning/YouTube

Edmund O’Leary shared a simple message on Twitter over the weekend, reaching out for people to say hello, little did he know how far his message would go.

Edmund caught international attention after tweeting about his mental health during the pandemic.

After living alone throughout the entire pandemic, Edmund found himself feeling rock bottom so he took to Twitter to reach out to people, he wrote: “I am not ok. Feeling rock bottom. Please take a few seconds to say hello if you see this tweet. Thank you.”

He has been flooded with support from people all across the world, and his Tweet has racked up over 100,000 replies. 

Edmund appeared on This Morning earlier today to discuss the aftermath of his tweet which he revealed has been ‘phenomenal’.

Ruth asked Edmun what led him to the tweet, he said: “On Friday I was feeling very depressed, I was feeling more and more depressed as the hours were passing, feeling very isolated, and I just felt there wasn’t much more I could take, and I just reflected on a friend of mine on Twitter, a Twitter friend that has mental health problems.

“Sometimes he tweets before he goes to bed ‘says hi if theres anyone out there who can say goodnight’, I always acknowledge his tweet”.

“I was just thinking if it works for him it may work for me.”

Edmund said he’s had so many private messages too. He added: “I’ve had many men send me private messages as well as normal tweets to say that they could not do what I did.

“They just don’t have the courage to do so, and they said you’re a courageous man for doing so. They were applauding me.

Edmund then offered some heartfelt advice to people, in particular men, who are struggling with mental health problems: “Try to reach out for help, don’t feel alone, we are in for a pretty awful winter by all accounts, so reach out for help, reach out to loved ones, seek medical help if necessary.”

If you are feeling lonely in the pandemic or need help with your mental health, head to Every Mind Matters for more support or information. 

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Video of grandma dropping baby to save falling prosecco glass sparks fierce debate

Did she do the right thing?

Alex Watson

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CulturedRuffian/Twitter

A video of a grandmother who grabbed a prosecco glass and let a baby fall has sparked a huge debate online on whether she did the right thing.

Originally the video was shared to be humourous, with the caption: “And Grandmother of the year award goes to…”

The woman, who can be seen in the video holding a baby up against a table, grabs the glass off the child and in doing so removed her arm which was supporting the child up. 

The little one inevitably falls on the floor.

The internet is in a pretty fierce debate if she did the right thing.

Some people are claiming that she did the right thing by grabbing the glass, which could have potentially shattered on the floor and caused a serious injury.

One person wrote: “To be fair, if the glass broke that could have seriously hurt the baby.”

Another added: “If the glass fell with the baby, it would have broken and the baby would have been hurt. She did the right thing.”

However, some people are saying the grandmother was ‘irresponsible’. One person replied to the tweet with a picture of a woman smiling as she throws a baby in the air. 

A second said: “She. Was. Holding. Up. The. Baby. If the glass was already gone, she should have kept holding the baby. Neither would have been an issue if she had some control over the toddler grabbing a glass of alcohol. She did literally all the worst things. Yes everyone survived.”

A third wrote: “Why she let the baby get that close to the glass in the first place? like the baby had ahold of it and everything.”

Another tried to defuse the situation, pointing out that no one was harmed and that’s the priority: “That could have gone very badly. One of those things that happen in the blink of an eye. We all should just be happy with the outcome and leave it at that.”

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Tesco customer goes on rampage and trashes store over argument about face masks

He’s not happy about the mask rules…

Alex Watson

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yessssss4u/TikTok

Tesco staff have shared clips online of a man trashing the store after ‘being asked to wear a mask’.

The man was filmed at the Ealing store in London trashing the aisles, pulling crisps and popcorn packets onto the floor.

According to reports the man visited the store last month without a mask, with staff asking him to put on a face covering or leave.

Instead, the man started shouting and swearing before storming down the confectionary aisle and throwing anything he could grab on the floor.

yessssss4u/TikTok

In the video, staff and customers can be seen watching the man in shock.

The police were called to the store on Uxbridge Road at 9pm on September 22nd, following reports of anti social behaviour. 

They said: “Officers arrested a man on suspicion of criminal damage. He was further arrested on suspicion of actual bodily harm in relation to an alleged assault (minor injury) on a staff member at the store.”

The man is set to appear at Uxbridge Magistrates’ Court on November 25th to answer charges of intending to destroy or damage property, and assault by beating.

yessssss4u/TikTok

Staff at shops can refuse entry to people who fail to wear a compulsory mask, or they can call the police. The fine for not wearing a mask is now £200.

A Tesco spokesperson said: “We’re grateful to the police for their assistance following a disturbance at our Tesco Express store on Uxbridge Road a number of weeks ago.”

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