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Hilarious Lidl story goes viral but people can’t work out if it’s a joke

A weekly shop gone wrong…

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One person’s tale of their lockdown visit to Lidl has swept social media and people are equally confused and amused. 

The tale involves one man, a weekly shop and some rope. What transpires is a beautiful story of teamwork between a bunch of Lidl-goers. 

I don’t want to rope you along or waste your time, but you’re knot going to believe this. No, you literally won’t, it’s obviously a joke.

Here’s the story in full, enjoy… 

“A warning to all: avoid using Lidl in Dewsbury at the moment if you can.

I’ve just got back from a truly awful shopping trip there.

Having queued up, patiently and socially distancing, as I neared the entrance a shop worker clipped a carabena onto the belt loop of my jeans, my perplexed expression must have said it all as she explained that whilst people are distancing in the queue outside, they aren’t distancing once inside the store.

Credit: Psicopatria

So what some dinlo has dreamt up is to rope six or so customers together with 2m of rope between each of us!

WTAF?!

Well these are strange times and with the threat of a second wave of infection I thought I’d best not complain and just toe the line (or perhaps ‘tow’ the line would be more appropriate!).

I’m telling you now, what an absolutely idiotic idea this is.

We negotiated our way in to the store, some with trolleys and others trying to grab a basket before the berserk conga line drags them away

Credit: Roger Cornfoot

I was near the middle of the rope picking up some veg, the woman at the front, who was trussed up like a kid in a harness was trying to drag the whole line to the apples and the bloke at the back trying to pull the other way to get his hands on last week’s courgettes which were now this week’s courgette offer.

It was like tug-of-war for the deranged.

It’s embarrassing to say, but I lost it, started ranting and raving about the rope and how the hell are people meant to shop like this, I went to unclip the carabena which miraculously brought the attention of the staff who told me I’d be asked to leave the shop if I unclipped.

“FFS we’re not rock climbing, we’re trying to buy cheese” are words which I’ll carry with me to my grave.

Credit: DennisM2 / Flickr

Strangely this outburst had the effect of bringing our train together as a team.

We carried on now with lots of communication, people passing stuff along the line to other to fill their baskets.

Now I know passing things to one another could spread the infection as much as person to person contact but I honestly think if we hadn’t have done, I’d still be there now.

As we started along the aisle I generally refer to as “biscuits and creosote”, it was clear from the melée that all was not well in the adjacent aisle.

As far as I could tell there had been 2 trains of people and a lady in the middle of one chain had ducked under the other to get her hands on a pop-art cat bed.

Credit: Albert Bridge / Flickr

The tangle had resulted in a multi-pedestrian pile up in which the epicentre resembled the deity Durga, it wasn’t clear how long they’d been there but one old chap was trying to free himself by feverishly sawing at the rope with his house keys.

We navigated the remaining aisles without major trauma, other than having to rescue Doreen (2nd in line) after she fell in the chest freezer trying to reach the last beef Wellington.

We were individually unclipped prior to the till, at which point any camaraderie we’d had quickly evaporated as everyone scrambled for the first available till.

With the ordeal still impeding rational thought, it was a welcome and familiar sight to have the check out throw all my shopping on the floor in the normal 1000mph fashion.

I really did not appreciate being strung along like that, but I hope you were!

And if you really want to be entertained, wait for the comments from those who don’t read the whole thing.” 

—-

Well there you go. I’m not sure how some people don’t realise it’s a joke to be honest…

Viral

‘Hero’ Asda delivery driver goes extra mile to make sure customer gets their order in snowstorm

What a legend!

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Phill Andrew / Facebook

An Asda delivery driver has gone viral after being picturing delivering food in a snow storm.

Many people are relying on grocery shops via delivery during lockdown, and this driver has definitely gone the extra mile (well, technically a quarter of a mile). 

Sharing the news on Facebook, Asda wrote: “We’re really proud of home shopping driver Paul from our Keighley store who battled through the snow and walked a quarter of a mile to ensure his delivery made it to a farm.”

The customer’s neighbour, Phill Andrew shared the pictures on Facebook writing ‘top marks to the Asda delivery driver who got stuck outside our house today’. 

He continued: “Well done for going the extra mile, {well quarter mile.} Ensuring delivery got to its destination at the farm.”

Phill Andrew / Facebook

Driver Paul works at the Keighley store, where Nigel Tyne-Miller the home shopping section leader called him a hero. 

He said: “Drivers will always try their best, but that’s going above and beyond to ensure your customer gets their order. To go so far down a snow-covered farm track is something else, and the pictures say it all. You can see Paul’s got his head down and battling through the snow.

“We’re all really proud of him. All our delivery drivers deserve applause – not just in Keighley but all over – because they really were terrible conditions yesterday.

“I’m sure the customer couldn’t believe it when he turned up in that weather. I’ve heard a few stories today from drivers saying customers were amazed to see them and had just assumed they wouldn’t be able to get out and make their deliveries.

“But we’ve got elderly and vulnerable customers and with the lockdown we know customers are relying on us so we’ll always do our very best to make sure they get what they need.

Phill Andrew / Facebook

“I’m sure he’s not the only one who’s gone so far out of his way to make a delivery – there will be drivers in other stores doing similar things, as it’s what we do. There were a few cancelled orders yesterday, as unfortunately it’s unavoidable in that weather, but we did our best to keep it to a minimum.

“There have been some great examples of everyone mucking in together too. One of our drivers had to dig out a driver for another supermarket who’d got stuck and once they were clear they pulled over and helped our driver so he didn’t get stuck.”

Asda chief operating officer Anthony Hemmerdinger posted on Instagram to thank Paul for his amazing efforts, saying: “This is one of many examples of our teams going the extra mile today.”

What a man! 

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Nurses ‘in tears’ after group of friends send huge stack of pizzas to hospital anonymously

The friends sent the pizza to staff at their local critical care unit

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@TWaltho / Twitter

A group of friends chipped in to order a load of pizzas to nurses working on a critical care unit, in a fantastic act of kindness.

One of the nurses who received the food said she was ‘lost for words’, after some anonymous good Samaritans ordered a huge takeaway for staff at their local hospital.

Critical care nurse Tina Waltho tweeted a photo of the pizza boxes, which turned up this week at the Royal Stoke University Hospital.

Staff were surprised when a takeaway driver dropped off six pizzas – margherita, pepperoni, meat feast, chicken, BBQ and veggie – as well as two garlic breads from an ‘unknown source’.

The pizzas had been sent by a group of close friends, who had dipped into their own pockets to spread some cheer to under-pressure and hungry NHS workers.

Tina said: “At a time when healthcare staff feel so low and deflated, responses like this remind us that we are supported.”

She added in a later tweet: “The nurse who had been in charge on the day shift was in tears. She had barely eaten all day and was a little emotional. It really has reported our faith in humans”. 

The tweet received a lot of praise, with thousands of retweets and likes, and some people even saying they would copy their example and make a similar gesture.

One person wrote: “What an amazing gesture. The next generation make me proud.”

While the group of friends remain anonymous, nurses did discover that the pizzas came from a takeaway based in Stone, Staffordshire.

*An earlier version of this article said the pizza was sent by a group of sixth form students, this has been corrected.

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Jason Manford has been driving the elderly and vulnerable to their Covid-19 vaccinations

He shared his busy day with his followers

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jasonmanford / Instagram

Jason Manford has been out and about in Greater Manchester, helping people get their Covid-19 vaccinations.

The comedian has been out in Stockport helping locals get to vaccine centres, and he managed to get a cheeky dig in at anti-vaxxers while he was at it.

The 39-year-old posted a photo from a vaccination centre car park in Heald Green, sharing his ‘busy day’ with his followers.

Jason, who’s from Salford, took aim at people who believe anti-vaccination theories about Bill Gates and microchips.

Jason Manford / Facebook

He wrote: “Busy day at the vaccination centre today here in Heald Green. Have already taken 3 people & have got another 3 to do! Same again tomorrow & Friday.

“I do wonder why Bill Gates wants to chip poor old Doris from Offerton, but ours is not to reason why I suppose.”

Fans took to the comments to praise the comic, with one saying: “Doing a fantastic job, Jason. World’s a better place with people like you in it”.

Another added: “Absolute credit . Other celebs should take a leaf out of your book pal”.

Jason Manford / Instagram

Jason was previously awarded for his efforts in helping others during the coronavirus crisis, receiving The High Sheriff of Greater Manchester Special Recognition Award.

The comedian said he was ‘chuffed’ to receive the award, after he was recognised for his ‘outstanding activity and contributing to the community amid the coronavirus pandemic’ as a volunteer at charity Rainbow Haven.

He added that it was a privilege to ‘do his bit’ during these testing times.

 

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