Processed cheese slices voted Britain’s favourite cheese

A shocking new survey has revealed the UK’s favourite cheese – and astonishingly, it isn’t a good quality mature cheddar or finely aged stilton.

It’s processed cheese slices.

You know, those feeble orange slices found in burgers at family barbecues? The one’s that resemble plastic more than they do actual cheese? 

Enggal Mukti / Unsplash

The survey, which asked respondents to list their favourite cheeses in order, was conducted by UK takeaway app Foodhub and revealed some startling results into what cheese us Brits actually love – the humble Double Gloucester landed in tenth place, with 13% of 2,000 voters picking it as their favourite.

Trumping Double Gloucester is Feta and Parmesan, who each received 14% of the votes. And then came Stilton, Brie, Halloumi (obviously), and Red Leicester, which received 15%, 17%, 18% and 19% of votes respectively.

Camembert, burrata and goat’s cheese didn’t even get a look in. 

In third place was the Italian classic Mozzarella, which gained 20% of the vote. Cheddar was then crowned as runner up, with 33% of the vote and – quite unbelievably – cheese slices came out on top with 40% of votes. Nothing short of insulting, if you ask me.

Ardian Mula, Foodhub spokesperson, said on the unexpected result: “We already know that Britain loves its cheese. However, we’re surprised at how well received the processed cheese slice has been.

Claudio Schwarz / Unsplash

“A lot of people turn their nose up at this product but, our research clearly shows it is the nation’s favourite. Clearly much of this comes from the fact we love it on burgers and sandwiches.” You don’t say?

According to the survey, almost one in five of the respondents also admitted to eating cheese every single day, with more than half of Brits claiming that British cheese is best, while France came a distant second on 30%.

However, it turns out that we aren’t a nation full of cheese lovers after all – one in ten men reported that they don’t like cheese and the same number of Brits strongly agreed that ‘eating cheese before bed gives you nightmares.’

Who else has lost all faith in the nation?